The Kingdom of Loathing
An Adventurer is You!
Old Announcements for 2012
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December 31
Happy New Year! January's Item-of-the-Month is now available in Mr. Store, along with 2012's brand new yearly familiars.

They're freakin' adorable!

January 02
Crimbo Town and the Advent calendar will go away at rollover on the night of January 3. If you've got unfinished business there, you best finish it by then.

January 18
The Kingdom of Loathing comic book you've all been waiting for is now available in the Store of Loathing!

Also, Valentines and new (old) quasi-mini-poster art packs.

January 19
The "reset button" we've been talking about for years has finally been implemented. If you're at least 11 days into an ascension run, you now have the ability to pop back into Valhalla and start over.

January 25
Passive skills now tell you in their pop-up descriptions what they do.

January 31
February's Item-of-the-Month, the can of Rain-Doh, is now available in Mr. Store.

February 02
We finally got sick of the stupid blackbird screwing everything up all the time. It no longer flies away.

February 14
The new Seasonal Challenge Path is out! Become an Avatar of Boris, and hew your foes asunder with your trusty axe, Trusty.

February 27
If you're in Arizona, you should go see KoL's own Hoboverlord, John Hodgman, at the Rialto Theatre in Tucson, on Saturday, March 3. Tell Mr. Hodgman "An Adventurer Is Me" to receive a hand-defaced dollar coin -- your very own post-inflation hobo nickel!

February 29
March's Item-of-the-Month, the Happy Medium, is now available in Mr. Store.

March 15
Surprise! The Hidden Temple has been revamped, and is now a real zone, with monsters and everything.

March 27
The chat has been improved significantly. It's got tabs and everything now!

March 31
We made some changes to the adventure script using some PHP code we found carved into an ancient basalt monolith Riff unearthed while digging a basement underneath the office in his spare time. Adventuring should be slightly faster now, and totally safe.

Also April's Item-of-the-Month is now available in Mr. Store.

April 10
After you finish the Typical Tavern quest, you can now do odd jobs for Bart Ender in exchange for Meat. Y'know, like cutting the heads off of statues with your hat. Stuff like that.

April 30
CDMoyer finally snapped, and used his wizard powers for evil -- PvP has been revamped significantly.

Also, May's Item-of-the-Month is now available in Mr. Store.

May 14
The next seasonal challenge path, Bugbear Invasion, is now available at your friendly neighborhood reincarnation bureau.

May 15
Hey everybody! It's a Kickstarter for Word Realms. With a sweet video that you should go watch.

May 21
Starting tonight, PvP fights will carry over from one day to the next, up to a rollover limit of 100.

May 23
Asymmetric has a new company site! It's minimalist, and it's available online at!

May 31
June's Item-of-the-Month is now available in Mr. Store. It's totally cray-cray.

June 09
We've posted a new update to the Word Realms Kickstarter, featuring a pretty sweet gameplay video!

June 12
Boss! The plains! The plains! (They are on fire.)

June 13
As the fires in the plains continue to spread, the FDKOL guys have decided to try a more egalitarian approach to handing out commendations.

The fires, meanwhile, have begun to adapt to the firefighters' tactics -- almost as though they are alive... The fires, I mean. The firefighters are obviously alive.

June 14
The FDKOL continues its firefighting efforts, and has set up a requisitions tent in the plains. So... go requisite something.

June 16
The fires is in the plains grow in intensity, and they seem to have developed an epicenter. Fires have an epicenter, right?

Susie has taken this opportunity to get out of Dodge, and has moved her Arena (carrying it on her back) to the Right Side of the Tracks.

June 19
The fires continue to evolve. Bats made of fire. Warm bats. Gracias.

There are a couple of new items available in the FDKOL tent.

We've brought some additional web servers online. Let us know if any problems are caused by us having brought some additional web servers on line, because we did that.

June 22
A flaming fortress made of molten bricks has sprung forth in the Nearby Plains. Everything is probably totally fine.

June 27
FDKOL scientists have figured out a way to make those molten bricks into other stuff. They're keeping it secret, though. Those jerks.

June 28
Lord Flameface has come home to roost.

June 28
The backbreaking labor of fighting these fires has prompted a Kingdom-wide realization that Adventurers have backs.

Many items are being migrated to this equipment slot. There might be some turbulence. Or some complaining.

June 29
Things being what they are (and what they are being crazy) July's Item-of-the-Month will be a couple of days late.

June 30
Season 2 of PvP has begun. Break your stone and head on down to Huggler Memorial Colosseum to see what's cooking. (HINT: It is violence.)

July 02
The fire in the plains has burned out, and the plains themselves have returned to approximately the same configuration as before.

Also, July's Item-of-the-Month, the Camp Scout backpack, is now available in Mr. Store. Purchase is compulsory. (That's a joke.)

July 24
Mt. McLargeHuge eXtreme HD edition is now available. If you finished the quest previously, you'll be reset to the point where you fight the new boss that's there now. If you had it in progress, you've been started over in the new version.

July 26
Friend of the Kingdom MC Frontalot has a compilation in the new Humble Music Bundle!

You should consider checking it out.

July 30
KoL Con #9 tickets and KoL Comic issue #2s (and PDFs, finally) are now available in the Store of Loathing. Get 'em while they're hot!

August 01
Surprise! August's Item-of-the-Month is a little late. It will be released at rollover on Thursday night. Jick is sorry.

August 02
August's Item-of-the-Month is now available in Mr. Store.

August 14
This season's Challenge Path, Zombie Slayer, is now available at your local Reincarnation Bureau.

August 31
Septem-bear's Item-of-the-Bear is now in Mr. Bear. Also Season 3 of PvP has begun.

September 05
Combat tweak! Normal attacks can no longer miss. Misses have been replaced with more informative glancing blows.

Details are available in this forum post.

September 18
A new item has been added (permanently) to Mr. Store. Monster Manuel, who will help you gather interesting facts and boring statistics about the monsters you encounter.

September 19
Our buddies at Evertide Games just launched a Kickstarter for their Kingdom of Loathing licensed card game!

It rules and it is fun and you should check it out here!

September 30
October's Item-of-the-Month will be available at rollover on the 1st, one day later than usual.

October 01
October's Item-of-the-Month is now available in Mr. Store.

October 22
Jick was a guest on the latest episode of the Overthinking It podcast! Check it out here:

October 24
Strange things are afoot.

October 31
November's Item-of-the-Month, the Nanorhino, is now available in Mr. Store. It's nano-tastic!

November 14
The Winter 2012 Challenge Path, Class Act, is now available in the place where challenge paths are.

The level 9 Council quest has also been replaced with something totally unlike the original level 9 Council quest.

November 19
The 2013 KoL Calendar and a couple types of Crimbo cards are now available in the Store of Loathing!

November 30
December's Item-of-the-Month in Mr. Store, Advent Calendars in the campground, and strange things afoot!

Happy Holidays!

December 15
Crimbo Town has once again emerged from the misty mists of the mountains. Kawaii!

December 26
Clan basements now have a whiteboard in them where dungeon administrators can write messages to delvers.

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