The Kingdom of Loathing
An Adventurer is You!
Old Announcements for 2007
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January 01
January's IotM is now in testing on dev, and will probably roll into Mr. Store tomorrow or really late tonight. Sorry about the lateness.

January 02
January's IotM is now available in Mr. Store. Sorry again about the tardiness.

Also, the real-life Tiny Plastics are now available in the Store of Loathing.

January 03
A mysterious trader from Distant Lands has wandered into Market Square...

In unrelated news, we totally thought today was Tuesday.

January 09
Moxie class characters now get the option to try to steal an item from a monster when they get the jump. After only four short years, our thieves and bandits are finally actually bandits and thieves. Irrespectively.

January 17
It's still Tuesday in Hawaii, right? There's a new item for sale at the Brotherhood of the Smackdown store.

January 24
Check your guild for some new faces. And some new methods of opening up some old zones.

January 24
We're doing some maintenance on the database servers tonight, so rollover will probably take an extra hour or so.

January 30
The avatar you get when wearing a costume is now gender-specific. Go go gadget equal rights!

Also, a new hilarious item has been added to the Grimoire.

January 31
Since I'm not gonna be around during rollover tonight, February's Item-of-the-Month is in a little early. I'll leave January's item in for another day or so.

February 06
The game will now nudge you towards quests you're eligible for but haven't started yet. Accessibility +1!

Also, Riff's awesome Feelies Packs are now available in the Store of Loathing.

February 13
Entangling Noodles have been changed -- they now bind the monster up for a number of rounds, preventing it from attacking you.

Also, Disco Bandits can now chain their dance/poke/stab skills together for various neat effects in combat.

February 20
The Palindome has been given a minor facelift, and the monsters in it have been significantly raised in power.

February 27
The Trader from Distant Lands is back, bearing strange treats from the jungle.

February 28
March's Item-of-the-Month is now available in Mr. Store.

March 06
A handful of monsters have been given new special attacks and/or random things that happen during combat. There will be more of these added over the next few days.

March 15
As you may have noticed, there was no significant update this past Tuesday. We are, however, continuing to add miscellaneous combat weirdnesses in various places.

March 17
Happy St. Sneaky Pete's Day! Sorry it's late -- to make it up to the people who missed it last night after rollover, the entire day of tomorrow will also be St. Sneaky Pete's Day.

March 20
The clan message board has been replaced with a rudimentary clan forum system, accessible from the same link that the old clan board was. Go forth, and post! More features will be added as time and gumption permits.

March 28
There are some new monsters in the Hole in the Sky on alternating ascensions. Also, it's still Tuesday in... my imagination.

March 31
April's Item-of-the-Day... er... Month is in Mr. Store.

Also, click here to check out our exclusive sneak preview of NS13 content. It's exciting!

April 03
A handful of new smithing/armorcrafting recipes have gone in. More to come.

April 10
A couple of new skins and a handful of new smithing recipes have been added. Still yet more to come.

April 17
If you have the Torso skill, you can now buy a shirt kit from the Meatsmith in Seaside Town. If you have the Armorcraftiness skill, you can use it to make some shirts out of various skins.

Next Tuesday's update might not involve skins, but we're not making any promises.

April 24
A few new items have gone into the hippy camp, and some changes have been made to the Jewelrycrafting skill. See this forum post for complete details. Well, don't just see it. Read it.

April 30
May's Item of the Month is now available in Mr. Store.

Due to the alignment of the planets, and a corresponding reflection of the Northern Lights through some swamp gas, there probably won't be a content update tomorrow. Rest assured, however, that we're hard at work on big exciting things.

May 08
Darn that swamp gas! We're still too busy working on big projects to do much of anything for a Tuesday update.

May 15
The Traveling Trader is back again. He was apparently investigating the source of all of this swamp gas.

May 29
There's a new (rarish, unless you're a Pastamancer, in which case it's somewhat less rarish at first and then somewhat rarisher later) adventure in the Haunted Library. Content preview: It involves books.

May 31
So, June's Item-of-the-Month is gonna be kind of huge. Think Astral Badger, but with more content.

Skully and Riff came up with all of the writing and stuff with plenty of time to spare, but there's a distinct possibility that HotStuff and I are gonna need an extra day or two to make sure everything is working properly and isn't going to break the game.

Thank you for your potential patience.

June 01
June's Item-of-the-Month is now available in Mr. Store. Sorry it's late, but we promise it's worth the wait. And the weight, in gold.

June 05
So, this Tuesday's update is actually going to be a Wednesday update -- we've put another (small, simple) recurring holiday into the rotation, and it'll trigger tomorrow night at rollover.

June 11
We are experiencing a problem with clan ranks right now. In order to prevent further chaos and damage, we've had to take away access to all clan pages. Functionality should be restored realsoonnow.

June 11
The screwiness with clan ranks has been fixed, and broken ranks have been restored from yesterday's backups. Please see this forum post to see what all happened, and how to deal with any inconsistencies.

June 12
Happy Tuesday! There are a couple of new items at the shore (and one old item reintroduced) and a couple of shirts have been added in a couple of other places.

June 17
Some strange weather has developed over parts of the Kingdom. I'm sure it's nothing to worry about.

June 19
The Kingdom of Loathing Con IV is coming! We've finally confirmed all of the details, including our awesome Saturday Night party, with a special mystery guest! Who? You can read all about it in this forum post. Registration packs will go on sale August 1st.

June 24
In order to facilitate the rollout of NS-13 tonight, we will be having a long rollover. We're not entirely sure how long it will take, but it will take as long as it needs to, and not a second more. I guarantee it.

June 24
Oh man, it's NS13! The Sorceress, having used her weather magic to infiltrate the Grim Grimacite Site, has found an artifact that has increased her power by approximately two levels! In unrelated news, the Council of Loathing now has some more crap they want you to take care of.

June 29
We're all kinda tired, and so July's Item-of-the-Month will probably be 2-3 days late.

July 02
July's Item-of-the-Month is now available in Mr. Store.

July 20
Anniversary gifts should be fixed now (once and for all.) In order to fix everyone at once, we've had to nuke all the anniversary gifts and gift boxes in the Kingdom from orbit. (It was the only way to be sure.) Fret not, however -- when you log in, you will receive a new gift box with all the gifts which you may have had before, like nothing had ever happened.

August 02
We're still working out some kinks and balance issues in August's Item-of-the-Month. It'll probably go into Mr. Store tomorrow. Thank you for your patience.

August 03
August's Item-of-the-Month is now available in Mr. Store.

August 20
A few new low-end food and booze items now drop in the Haunted Kitchen.

August 31
September's Item-of-the-Month is now available in Mr. Store.

September 17
By popular demand, the Item-of-the-Month has been beefed up a bit. See this forum post for details.

September 19
Happy Talk Like a Pirate Day! The residents of the Obligatory Pirates' Cove have some special goodies today. They'll have 'em tomorrow, too, since I forgot to roll this out until so late. It wasn't my fault, though -- it was the rum's fault.

September 19
With very little fanfare, Hagnk's Ancestral Mini-Storage has finally been fully repaired.

September 29
There was a little bit of a database glitch today, and we had to restore a table from yesterday's backup.

The table contains, for the most part, information about settings on your account, chat colors, etc, so if you log on and something that you changed since yesterday has changed itself back, then this is why.

The root cause of the problem was identified and fixed, so this shouldn't ever happen again. If anything extra-weird is going on with your account, please submit a bug report.

September 30
September's Item-of-the-Month is now available in Mr. Store. Also, October is now known as September.

October 02
A bunch of minor bugfixes and updates happened today. Check out (a forum post that isn't available right now, sadly,) for details.

October 08
Happy Belated Third Anniversary of Mr. Store! Two new familiars are available, to replace the Nervous Tick and the Jitterbug.

Also today, Trick-or-Treating, with new content for the new outfits that came with NS13.

October 09
The new, improved, and oh-so-secure Forums of Loathing are back in business.

Due to a security breach in the old forums (the main reason for this upgrade) you should change your forum password, and your KoL password if it's the same, as soon as possible.

October 10
For those of you with access to the Gnomish Gnomads' Camp, there's a groovy (and not at all annoying) new quest to do.

October 15
The Gluttonous Green Ghost has been beefed up a little bit -- he used to have fullness threshold below which he wouldn't act like a starfish, and that threshold has been removed. Er, changed to 1.

October 15
The Gluttonous Green Ghost has been beefed up a little bit -- he used to have fullness threshold below which he wouldn't act like a starfish, and that threshold has been removed. Er, changed to 1.

October 15
The first stage of completion of the Deep Fat Friars quest now has a reward. Head out to the Copse for details. If you don't know the way, you can ask the copse for directions.

October 25
Happy Festival of Jarlsberg, everybody!

October 27
Two new shirt designs, some buttons, and the long-awaited KoL Fan Art Calendar are now available in the Store of Loathing.

October 31
November's Item-of-the-Month is now available in Mr. Store.

November 27
Today is El Dia de Los Muertos Borrachos! Watch out!

November 30
Uncle Crimbo stopped by everybody's campsite in the dead of night and dropped off a little calendar full of goodies. Perfectly normal, perfectly healthy goodies.

In other, more cybermatical news, December's Item-of-the-Month is now available in Mr. Store.

December 03
The pirates on the Mysterious Island of Mystery are evidently hard up for crew, and have begun recruiting from the population at large. Head on over and see what's happening!

December 07
A new moon has appeared in the sky. It's a Crimbo miracle!

December 10
Some amateur astronomers with telescopes in their campsites have determined that the new object in the sky is no moon -- it's a space station!

December 12
Turns out the amateur astronomers were wrong - it wasn't a moon or a space station, it was a spaceship, and it crash-landed somewhere in the big mountains.

In completely unrelated news, Crimbo Town has re-emerged from the mists to bring joy and delight to adventurers everywhere.

December 24
Merry Crimbo!

The Crimbo Town Toy Factory is back to normal, and Uncle Crimbo had his elves whip up some good old-fashioned toys for everybody.

Check the miscellaneous section of your inventory.

December 31
Since most of the staff was either sick or traveling (or both) during the holidays, January's Item-of-the-Month will be at least a couple of days late. Sorry.

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