The Kingdom of Loathing
An Adventurer is You!
Old Announcements for 2010
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December 31
Happy New Year! Crimbo Town has faded back into the mists, and January's Item-of-the-Month has inexplicably appeared on time in Mr. Store.

January 04
We've finally gotten around to printing real-world versions of some of the KoL Valentines. They're available in the Store of Loathing.

January 06
The Traveling Trader has once again set up shop in Market Square.

January 08
All of the squeezable Items-of-the-Month (including this month's cheese ball) now transform in sequence, instead of randomly.

January 14
Thanks to CDM's interfacular wizardizationalizing, you can now mark familiars as "favorites" from your terrarium, and quickly switch between favorite familiars by right-clicking them on the character pane.

(Thanks to OneTonTomato for the Greasemonkey script that inspired this update.)

January 22
Because Uncle CDMoyer loves you all so very much, you can now arrange your trophies by dragging and dropping them.

January 28
The Traveling Trader is back from Distant Lands with some super fun stuff!

January 31
Due to travel schedules and the fact that we decided to take a joke way, way too far, February's Item-of-the-Month will be at least a day late.

February 02
February's Item-of-the-Month is now available in Mr. Store.

In related news, the Crafting page now tracks the discovery of items made by multi-using other items. See details in this forum post.

February 08
Once again, the Traveling Trader has arrived with exotic goods from far-away places.

February 16
Seven new trophies, no ten, are now available. (I mean, seventeen. Three? Seventy.)

February 28
We've gone kinda nuts again, and March's Item-of-the-Month will be at least a couple of days late.

March 03
March's Item-of-the-Month is now available in Mr. Store.

March 12
The Tweedleporium (Down the Rabbit Hole) is now open for business. Contrariwise, it is now closed for pleasure.

Also, Uncle P's Antiques has reopened on the Wrong Side of the Tracks, with a brand new inventory of legitimately-acquired quality goods!

March 18
The Enormous Greater-Than Sign is dead! Long live The Enormous Greater-Than Sign!

March 30
The Traveling Trader has once again traveled from Distant Lands for some trading, and set up shop in Market Square

March 31
April's Item-of-the-Month is now available in Mr. Store.

April 05
Shameless Cross-Promotion! In celebration of the release of MC Frontalot's new album Zero Day, we've implemented a quest designed by the selfsame nerdcore super-rapper.

The first ten stalwart Adventurers to complete his fiendishly convoluted puzzle will receive a free copy of the CD!

UPDATE: All prizes have been claimed, and winners will be announced on the forums soon.

Check Uncle P's Antiques on the Wrong Side of the Tracks to get started!

April 13
The Traveling Trader is back once again!

April 20
CDM has gone and done it again, this time by implementing combat macros.

You can find details in this forum thread, in which Gemelli did yeoman's work in documenting the powerful scripting language used by the macros.

April 30
Due to circumstances I'd like to say were beyond our control but were actually entirely Jick's fault, the Item-of-the-Month is going to be at least a day late. Probably two days. Almost certainly not three.

April 30
The Traveling Trader has returned from Distant Lands! Stop by Market Square to see what he has brought to trade.

May 02
Jick: "Almost certainly not three."
The Universe: "Ha ha ha."

May's Item-of-the-Month is done, and in testing, and will be released at rollover on Monday night. Sorry.

May 03
May's Item-of-the-Month is now available in Mr. Store.

May 13
I'm going to be swapping out some hardware at the data center today, so there might be brief periods where the game is unresponsive.

EDIT: All done. Can you feel the gigabits? CAN YOU!?

May 15
It's the 15th, and you know what that means! Actually, maybe you don't, but I do, so I'll tell you:

There's a new item in stock at Uncle P's Antiques, on the Wrong Side of the Tracks.

May 31
June's Item-of-the-Month is now available in Mr. Store.

June 15
Happy the 15th! There's a new item available at Uncle P's Antiques, and it's a real doozy.

June 22
Rollover tonight (Wednesday) will be extra long, because we have to do some database maintenance. We expect it to take about 3 hours, so... let's say... 5 hours?

June 23
By player request, we're now able to accept donations via Rixty. Definitely a better way to donate that $10 in pennies than mailing them to us!

June 25
The Traveling Trader is back once again, peddling wares from exotic and far-off places.

June 25
The Meteoid cabinet in the Game Grid Arcade randomly started working again. Fonzie must've elbowed it or something.

June 28
If all goes well, tonight's (and every future night's) maintenance period should be considerably shorter. If all doesn't go well... panic.

June 30
The Game Grid Arcade's ticket redemption counter is now stocking special prizes available to people who beat each of the games.

June 30
July's Item-of-the-Month is now available in Mr. Store.

July 11
Pastamancer Guardians can now be summoned on any round of combat, and even if you don't get the jump. A super-secret bonus related to these guardians has also been added to the Wrath of the Capsaician Pastalords. Oh. Crap. I spoiled it.

July 15
It's the 15th, and there's a new antique for sale at Uncle P's!

July 19
The interface for buying Guild skills has been improved, and the costs of those skills have been adjusted to be a little friendlier to lower-level players. And openly hostile to higher-level players! Nah, just kidding. Mostly.

July 23
Jick and MC Frontalot did a short segment on Adam Carolla's Comic-Con podcast. Our bit starts 15 minutes from the end.

July 30
The Bad Moon skills Pride and Gluttony have been changed a little. See this forum post for slightly more detail.

July 31
Comic-Con chaos took its toll on the last week or so, and the Item-of-the-Month is likely to be a day late.

August 01
August's Item-of-the-Month is now available in Mr. Store.

August 04
We've made a change that simplifies the way the moon signs Opossum and Blender work in relation to food and booze. See this forum post for details.

August 15
It's the 15th, so why not head over to Uncle P's Antiques and see what's in store for you?

August 16
The Deep Fat Friars' quest has undergone a bit of a revamp. See details in this forum post.

August 24
The noncombat adventures in The Spooky Forest have been reimagined. We've also apparently started using the word "reimagine." Sorry.

Details are available in this forum thread for the ner... the... people who are interested in the technical details.

Happy Tuesday!

August 31
September's Item-of-the-Month is now available in Mr. Store.

Also, a strange archaeologist has set up shop (tent) in the Nearby Plains.

September 08
We're making some changes to the way cooking and cocktailcrafting work in an effort to make them friendlier to new and low-level players. See this forum post for details.

September 14
There are now outfits consisting of the stainless steel, plexiglass, and brimstone items.

September 24
I finally got around to updating the Radio Archive with the last few shows.

September 30
October's Item-of-the-Month is now available in Mr. Store!

October 05
The Toot Oriole's tutorial (get it? GET IT?) has been redone. Unfortunately, it's not technically feasible to let existing players play the new one, so if you want to see it you'll have to make a new account, or better yet, recruit a friend and watch them play it!

October 07
The Traveling Trader is back from Distant Lands, and this time he brought tacos!

October 11
The new Mr. Store Anniversary familiars are now available. And only five days late -- a new record!

October 22
The Suspicious-Looking Guy has fled the Seaside Town authorities and set up shop in the newly-remodeled Typical Tavern.

Also the Typical Tavern has been remodeled and the rat quest revamped. You can poke around in the new cellar even if you already completed the quest.

October 25
The Dungeon Full of Dungeons has been invaded by an army of skeletons!

The proprietors quickly filled out the necessary zoning paperwork to move their operation into the Big Mountains, into the old Hall of Legends building. Despite what you may have heard, nobody was bribed.

October 26
After being invaded by an increasingly large army of skeletons, the Mall of Loathing has relocated to a deserted strip mall in Bordertown.

October 27
The increase in intensity of the skeleton invasion has driven several local businesses to Bordertown.

The Ghost of the English Language also took this opportunity to get the hell out of Dodge, and his old Altar in town has been replaced by something far more sinister...

October 29
The skeleton invasion of Seaside Town continues unabated. Who will abate it?

October 30
The skeleton invasion has reached its apogee. Its zenith. Its... perihelion? Is... that a thing?

Anyway. It's at the Cannon Museum.

October 31
November's Item-of-the-Month is going to be at least a couple of days late. Sorry.

November 01
Skills and items that delevel enemies will now give explicit messages in combat. Explicit as in clear, not NSFW. Although...

November 02
There is now a bus pass for sale at the Market that allows travel to Desert Beach. It won't show up if you've already got a car.

November 02
November's Item-of-the-Month is now available in Mr. Store.

November 03
The Store of Loathing has been stocked with some new goodies - 2011 Calendars and coasters and keychains.

If you want to share the KoL love this Christmas, be sure to place your orders before December 3rd so you can be sure stuff will arrive in time for Jesus's birthday party.

November 04
Construction crews have been working tirelessly to clear the rubble from Seaside Town.

November 09
The Bat Hole has been rejiggered. It now has 40% more thingamabobs.

November 30
Due to a confluence of external factors and poor planning, December's Item-of-the-Month will probably be at least a couple of days late.

November 30
Check your campsite for an Advent calendar full of treats, courtesy of your friends at CRIMBCO.

December 02
Tomorrow is the Christmas shipping deadline for orders from the Store of Loathing. So unless you do all of your gift giving on Groundhog's Day, it's your last chance to share the loathing this holiday season.

December 02
December's Item-of-the-Month is now available in Mr. Store.

December 03
Ho ho hobo! A new area of Hobopolis has been discovered, full of unemployed Crimbo elves!

December 06
We've made some changes to the way outgoing k-mail is handled. See this forum thread for details.

December 15
A magical, wondrous -- er -- skyscraper has emerged from the mists in the Big Mountains.

December 22
Mr. Mination would like to reassure you that the elf hobos crawling up the pipes and emerging from CRIMBCO's toilets are nothing to worry about.

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