The Kingdom of Loathing
An Adventurer is You!
Old Announcements for 2008
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December 31
Happy New Year!

January 03
January's Item-of-the-Month is now available in Mr. Store. Sorry about the delay.

In other, related news, Summon Snowcones, Summon Candy Hearts, and Summon Hilarious Objects are no longer considered skills, but are accessed from a bookshelf that has appeared (as if by magic) in your campsite if you had any of those skills. January's IotM also uses this new mechanic.

January 18
Interface upgrade! Mystical Bookshelf skills have been re-added to the skills page (including Quick Skills.) Convenient!

Additionally, the Account Menu has been tidied up a bit. Some links were removed and turned into checkboxes, and hidden behind javascripty links. In the Account Menu, you can find a new option to anchor the Bookshelf skills to the bottom of your skill menu, and separate them by type (tome, libram, grimoire.)

January 22
The Traveling Trader is back in Market Square, and he's brought more inscrutable objects from Distant Lands.

January 31
February's Item-of-the-Month is now available in Mr. Store.

February 08
This was a trivial announcement yesterday, but it probably merits a real announcement: There's been a change to the way Meat pasting works. Items that are pastable are now designated as such, and the combine screen now only shows items that have existing paste recipes. No more huge lists.

February 08
Strange things are afoot on the open seas. The mysterious plinth has begun behaving in an even more mysterious way.

February 13
Happy Valentine's Day!

February 20
A fourth type of PvP attack has been introduced. Where the original three stances pick three tuned stat challenges and four minigames for the PvP contest, the new "Ballyhoo" stance will pick a random buffed stat, a random raw stat, and five minigames.

February 22
The Fly-by-Knight Heraldry form is now available in Mr. Store (two of 'em for 1 Mr. Accessory.)

It lets you give yourself (or somebody else) a Custom Title. Custom Titles can be enabled or disabled in the Account Menu.

February 29
March's Item-of-the-Month is now available in Mr. Store.

March 11
A minor (but hopefully strategically interesting) update -- key lime pies made with the Legend keys now give you back the key you cooked into them when eaten. The digital and star equivalents give you some of the ingredients back, as well.

March 13
Random interface upgrade time! Combat Action Bars, a shiny, graphical way to interface with combat, has been released. Go to your Account Menu to enable it. This feature will likely only work in Internet Explorer and Firefox. See this forum thread for details.

March 17
The way that elemental resistance works has been changed a little bit. See this forum post for details.

March 18
The Disco Bandit skill Crossbow Fever has been renamed Disco Fever, and now applies to all ranged weapons instead of just crossbows.

March 23
Due to Easter, the in-game holiday Oyster has been postponed until tomorrow. This delay has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that we drank a lot last night.

March 25
Items marked as "Gift Items" can now be traded with other players using the secure trade system. Our inner hippies are crying.

In other equally gift-related news, there are three new hilarious items available for summoning from McPhee's Grimoire. For the next week, summons are guaranteed to produce at least one of the new items.

March 27
The way Critical Hits work in combat has been changed. See this forum post for details.

March 31
April's Item-of-the-Salad is now available in Mr. Store.

April 10
Pastamancers get some love today. See this forum post for details.

April 16
If you blow up a wand of polymorph, you can now get another one, three days later. 25 days after that, watch out for zombies.

April 22
Disco Nap now lets you rest at your campsite once per day without using an Adventure. Disco Power Nap lets you do it twice more. Now if you'll excuse me, all of this skill-updating has made me sleepy.

April 30
May's Item-of-the-Month will probably be a day late, as we need some additional time to make sure that it isn't a dollar short. We apologize for the delay.

May 01
May's Item-of-the-Month is now available in Mr. Store!

May 15
By popular demand, May's Item-of-the-Month has been beefed up a little bit.

May 30
The guard bugbears in Degrassi Knoll no longer go pantless. Or pantsless.

May 31
June's content-tastic Item-of-the-Month is now available in Mr. Store. Enjoy!

June 16
In preparation for tonight's rollout of Hobopolis (KoL's first multiplayer Clan Dungeon!) a couple of new clan permissions have been added. They allow clan members of a certain rank to either adventure in or administer Clan Dungeons. Whee!

June 16
Clan leaders may now purchase a basement, and in that basement they will find Hobopolis, KoL's first multiplayer Clan Dungeon.

Tell your friends!

June 30
July's Item-of-the-Month is now available in Mr. Store.

July 04
Giant sandworms now have drops, including a cool and rare new item. He who controls it controls the universe!

July 08
All bugs with the level 12 Junkyard sidequest should be fixed now. Please report any weirdness you encounter with the Junkyard and its gremlins.

July 09
There's a new item for sale in Gouda's Grimoire and Grocery.

July 09
The game will probably be running a little slowly today because of some database cleanup stuff we're running. Thanks for your patience.

July 15
The Traveling Trader is back once again!

July 29
A PDF of this year's Comic-Con Choose-Your-Own-Adventure booklet has been posted (along with last year's and the year before's) over on this page.

July 31
August's Item-of-the-Month is now available in Mr. Store.

August 04
In the spirit of friendliness and good will, we've added a way to permanently unlock the Bad Moon sign. In the spirit of the Bad Moon sign, we've opted not to tell you what it is.

August 19
We've added a new chat command -- /outfit -- that lets you easily switch outfits (normal and custom.) See the (gasp) documentation for details on its use.

August 26
There has been a small change to the way that the Accordion Thief buffs from Hobopolis work -- they are now limited to five seven eight and a half ten casts / day instead of 200 turns per day.

August 29
Guess what's been revamped?
Can't guess? Well, then, I'll tell you.
The Haiku Dungeon.

August 31
September's item of the month is now available in Mr. Store.

September 12
Nearly-trivial update: Long skinny balloons are no longer meat-pasted together in order to sculpt things out of them. One additional sculptable item has been added.

September 18
Happy Talk-Like-A-Pirate Day!

September 19
The skill training interface in the guild has been altered a little bit -- it now gives you the option to see skills you'll be able to train at higher levels.

September 19
A handful of new Sauceror potions have been added, and all of the old ones have been given unique (and hilarious) consumption messages. Also, eyedrops are no longer taken orally.

September 24
Crafting has had a major interface upgrade. See this forum post for juicy details.

September 30
The fabulous 2009 Calendar of Loathing is now available in the Store of Loathing, along with a groovy new die-cut sabre-toothed lime sticker.

September 30
October's terrifying Item-of-the-Month is now available in Mr. Store.

October 06
The 2008 Mr. Store Anniversary familiars are now available.

October 08
The new crafting interface has undergone a few tweaks and enhancements. See CDMoyer's forum post for details.

October 10
Tonight we've rolled out the first zone of the swam... er... new underwater content. It's available (from the main map) to players who have a means of breathing underwater. And no, a snorkel doesn't count.

Our current plan is to release a new zone down there every couple of weeks, all episodical-like.

October 15
A bunch of groovy interface updates today. See this forum post for details.

October 22
The second underwater zone is now available for your adventuring pleasure. Or displeasure, as the case may be.

November 01
November's Item-of-the-Month is (obviously) going to be a little late. It still needs a bit of work and testing, and it'll most likely be ready to roll Monday night at rollover.

November 03
November's Item-of-the-Month is now available in Mr. Store

Also, more interface improvements! See CDM's forum post for details.

November 04
The Raffle House is back in business. Please note that there won't actually be a drawing tonight -- we just needed to push it out a little before rollover so as not to interfere with our important election-related drinking.

November 07
The third underwater zone is now available. Splish, splash.

November 18
We've got some crappy Crimbo cards for sale in the Store of Loathing. Also, closeout sale on Disco Bandit T-Shirts. Also, we're almost out of Feelies Packs, so act soon if you want one. Also, the deadline for guaranteed Christmas delivery is fast approaching. Also... no, I guess that was everything.

November 21
The fourth underwater zone is up. Glub, glub.

November 23
Due to some extra maintenance that has to be performed tonight, rollover will be maybe 15 or 20 minutes longer than normal.

November 26
For the purposes of ascension leaderboards and histories (including favorite familiar percentages), runs are now considered to have ended once you have rescued the King.

November 30
Uncle Crimbo managed to hobble into everybody's campsite last night and leave behind a little something. Also, Happy St. Sneaky Pete's Day. Also, December's Item-of-the-Month is now available in Mr. Store. Sheesh.

December 04
There's some new underwater content. Check the old underwater content for clues.

December 07
It's that time of year again! Crimbo Town has once again opened its doors to the adventuring public, and wouldn't you know it -- there's trouble brewing!

December 10
In an effort to combat Crimbo lag, we've made some changes to the way using and equipping items from your inventory work. It was kind of a rush job, so there are a few little quirks we're not totally happy with. We'll work on those after the Crimbo rush dies down.

We've also rolled out a new batch of chat commands, along with a revamped (and far, far more useful) macro system. See CDM's post here for details.

Also, all classes now start with a cheap combat skill -- it'll be given to you the first time you visit the main page.

December 17
The next underwater zone is available. See Big Brother for details. He's watching you, you know.

December 24
Recent events in Crimbo Town have reached a conclusion. Go see Uncle Crimbo in his fallout shelter to find out more (and maybe pick up a Crimbo present, if you've been good this year.)

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