The Kingdom of Loathing
An Adventurer is You!
Old Announcements for 2011
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December 31
January's Item-of-the-Month is now available in Mr. Store.

Also, the CRIMBCO building has mostly faded into the mists.

January 11
The Traveling Trader is back again, with a rare and mysterious tome from Distant Lands.

January 14
With even less fanfare than usual, the CRIMBCO building has faded back into the mists completely.

January 20
Hey, remember like three years ago when we put in that placeholder quest in the Deep Fat Friars' Gate? We finally replaced it with a thing that isn't a placeholder!

You can play through the new quest even if you've already gotten your Organ of Steel.

January 31
So as to set expectations low after an auspicious start to 2011, February's Item-of-the-Month will be at least a day late.

February 01
Febtober's Item-of-the-Month is now available in Mr. Store, Trebek.

February 02
There's a new, WAY less horrible version of the Account Menu (now called Options) and some new interface features:

  • A Quest Tracker in the character pane -- (new accounts have had this for a while.)
  • The ability to add additional icons to the new iconic top menu.
  • Pulverize in the item right-click menu.
  • /pulverize as a chat command. (/smash also works.)

February 03
Susie has been doing some soul-searching, and has decided to open her heart a little. The Cake-Shaped Arena will now give prizes after 5 wins instead of 10, and no longer has a chance to give lead necklaces when it could give better prizes instead.

February 09
Dates for KoL Con 8 have been announced. It'll take place September 9-11, 2011. See what details there are here.

February 15
Cobb's Knob has gotten an HGTV-style makeover -- fancy new graphics, and lots of new monsters and items.

February 23
The Traveling Trader is back to raise a little more Hell.

February 28
February did it again -- we're hard at work an an unadvisably ambitious Item-of-the-Month, and it'll be a couple of days late.

March 02
Hey look! It's another crazy elaborate Item-of-the-Month. In Mr. Store.

March 07
Xlyinia is no longer with the company, as of today. We thank her for six years of service and wish her the best of luck in future endeavors. We'll be working to make this transition mostly invisible to you guys.

March 08
There are stirrings of activity in Cell 37 of the Cobb's Knob Menagerie...

March 17
Happy Drunksgiving, everyone!

March 31
Forewarned is forearmed -- we've gotten busier than we expected with lots of things, so the April IotM will be released at rollover on Monday night.

April 04
April's Item-of-the-Month is (FINALLY) available in Mr. Store.

April 15
The Cyrpt, in its turn, has been vamped again.

April 20
Uncle CDM has brought us Christmas early this year, in the form of a cool inventory overhaul. The inventory, closet, and Hagnk's now all have a unified interface.

In the Options menu, you'll find "Turn On Advanced Filtering and Sorting," which will... turn on advanced filtering and sorting options for your bewildering array of items.

Also, there are some new chat commands: /closet, /uncloset, and the oft-requested /pull.

April 24
KoL's very own Jick was a guest on the most recent episode of the Overthinking It podcast -- available online at

April 30
We need some more time to put the finishing touches on the Item-of-the-Month -- we'll roll it out Monday night instead of tonight.

May 02
May's Item-of-the-Month is now available in Mr. Store, and boy is it swell! Golly gee.

May 10
Corman is back, and he's attacking Valhalla! In launching his assault, he has opened a number of unstable Astral Slashes in the Kingdom, and the Air Warriors of Loathing, led by the recently promoted Admiral Hagnk, need you!

May 12
Due to a dumb bug that caused some people to get way too many A. W. O. L. commendations, we've had to nuke them all. The next time you kill some skeletons, you'll be given the proper number of commendations, and all will be well with the world. Sorry for the inconvenience.

May 12
Corman's invasion of Valhalla continues to build in intensity! A. W. O. L. has stepped up their game by finally appointing a commendation quartermaster.

May 13
Train, Train, Choo-Choo Train, Corman continues to bring the pain. Woo woo! Woo woo!

May 14
Corman has unveiled his ultimate weapon. It's pretty ultimate.

May 16
By popular request, limited edition Bone Star T-shirts are now available for pre-order in the Store of Loathing.

May 16
Rollover will be longer than usual tonight. Don't panic.

On second thought, totally panic. Panic sounds like fun.

May 16
At long last, the tens of thousands of torpedoes destroyed Corman's Bone Star. A big explosion, a deafening bang, an inexplicable expanding ring of energy edited in several years later.

There was great celebration in Valhalla. Jolly tunes were played with drumsticks on the skulls of fallen skeletal warriors.

Then the leftover chunks of the station began to fall. All of the buildings that were still standing, well -- they stopped standing once they got hit by a million tons of flaming bone chunks.

Fortunately, in Valhalla, a thousand years is as one day, so as far as you know, they instantly rebuilt everything. Better. Stronger. Faster. More animated.

May 31
June's Item-of-the-Month is likely to be a few days late. In other news, future months will start on the 4th, to make it seem like we're on time for stuff.

May 31
Tomorrow will be the last day to pre-order Bone Star T-shirts from the Store of Loathing.

June 03
June's Item-of-the-Month is now available in Mr. Store. It mostly comes at night. Mostly.

June 27
After a sudden and unexpected several hour break, the servers are back to servin'. Sorry for the inconvenience. Darned spiders.

June 28
Another day, another catastrophic unexpected bout of downtime.

We are back, but be gentle. Things might be a little bumpy.

June 28
The Council of Loathing advises citizens not to panic about the pile of "database servers" that seems to have fallen from the sky and landed in Seaside Town.

June 30
July's Item-of-the-Month is... on time? Seriously? Yes. It's on time. And now available in Mr. Store.

July 03
Looks like the Adventurers of Loathing finally destroyed all of those old servers. Now, about these egg sacs...

July 08
New chat command: /timer - it lets you give yourself effects that act act as... timers? See the documentation for details.

July 14
The various entrance challenges have been replaced with a frosted mini-quest for each Guild.

July 22
Hey, check out this thing -- Mr. Skullhead has written a series of Kingdom of Loathing comic books and has found a super groovy artist.

In order to make sure there's enough interest to actually make it into a real thing, we've launched this Kickstarter thingy.

If you like comic books and you like Kingdom of Loathing, why not head over and like both of those things at the same time.

August 01
Hey, August's Item-of-the-Month was on time, I just forgot to announce it. It's a cool familiar that kicks and stomps things.

August 10
The vending machine in the Dungeoneer's Association is fixed now. The bottom of each day's Daily Dungeon now gives you a token that you can use to buy any of the things the bottom of the Daily Dungeon used to give you.

Also potato sprouts.

August 14
The next seasonal challenge path, Way of the Surprising Fist, is now available at your friendly neighborhood reincarnation bureau.

August 22
The Traveling Trader is back with a vengeance. Also, some nerdy chemicals.

August 31
September's absurd Item-of-the-Month, the Tome of Clip Art, is now available in Mr. Store.

September 19
Oh, I almost forgot -- happy Talk Like a Pirate Day!

September 26
We're being targeted by some kind of phishing scam -- DO NOT click any download links from e-mails that look like they're from us.

September 30
Again we tried to make a simple Item-of-the-Month, and again, we failed. This one needs the weekend to finish cooking.

October 01
The new phonebook's here! The new phonebook's here! (By phonebook, I mean 2012 KoL Calendar, and by here I mean here.) Also, Crimbo Cards!

October 03
We're heading down to the data center to randomly unplug things from things for a while. There might be brief (like, a few seconds brief) periods of downtime this morning.

October 03
October's Item-of-the-Month is now available in Mr. Store. Blaaaah.

October 15
A big pile of junk mail just got delivered to the basement of every Clan in the Kingdom. At least the ones with basements.

October 24
There will be a little bit (up to an hour, maybe?) of downtime tomorrow around noon Arizona time.

October 25
Server reconfiguration is now complete. All traffic to KoL now goes through Hooray!

October 31
November's Item-of-the-Month, the Fancypants Scarecrow, is now available in Mr. Store.

November 14
A new, trendy challenge path is now available at your friendly neighborhood reincarnation bureau.

November 30
There's a Crimbo surprise waiting for you at your campsite!

Also, December's Pepperminty Item-of-the-Month is now available in Mr. Store.

December 13
By popular demand from like five years ago, the Gift Shop Guy now has "Do Not Open 'til Crimbo" boxes for your gifting pleasure.

December 17
In the mists of the Big Mountains, Crimbo Town emerges once more from the Misty Mists. Mist.

December 23
It's Crimbo Time at the Asymmetric offices! Happy holidays and stuff, everybody!

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