The Story Thus Far:
Episode I: The Death of Crimbo

Well, see, there's this trade dispute on Naboo, and -- nah, forget it. That story sucks. The story about Crimbo thus far:

For hundreds of years, Father Crimbo was the jolly, obese bringer of good tidings to the Kingdom. Every four years (give or take), he would fly through the Kingdom in his magic sleigh, leaving presents for every adventurer. Nobody ever actually saw Father Crimbo, or his magical home, Crimbo Town, and that seemed to suit everyone just fine.

Unfortunately, like all good things -- and especially like all good things that are fueled by nothing but whole milk and sugar cookies -- Father Crimbo came to an end. Just eight years (give or take) after the Naughty Sorceress first imprismed King Ralph XI, Father Crimbo suffered a massive heart attack and was found face down in the snow between his cottage and the reindeer stalls. The elves wept, the reindeer were inconsolable, and every adventurer woke up crying and didn't know why. Well, I may be exaggerating that last bit. At the very least, everyone had a mild case of indigestion.

Once the elves' tears dried, they realized that they had to act quickly to save the holiday from disappearing forever. They recalled that Father Crimbo would occasionally, if given an extra cup of eggnog, talk about his long-lost brother -- a no-good, alcoholic, shiftless layabout, a traitor to the family name. The elves set off on a search for this brother, for even if he was a drunken hobo, he was the rightful heir to Crimbo, and every adventurer's last hope for a happy holiday.

The elves found Uncle Crimbo lying in a gutter on the Wrong Side of the Tracks in the Sleazy Back Alley. Despite his vociferous (and slurred) protests, the elves whisked him away to Crimbo Town, sobered him up, and taught him how to perform Father Crimbo's duties. Little did they know that entrusting a mystical holiday to a drunken layabout might not have been the best of ideas...

Okay, so they aren't very bright. It's probably all the sugar.

Part I : The Story Thus Far
Part II : The Elfretariat
Part III : The Halloween Incident
Part IV : Crimboween
Part V : Where in Time is Uncle Crimbo?
Part VI : Once You Go Blackstory, You Never Go Backstory
Part VII : A Polyhedral Harbinger
Part VIII : Rise of the Crimborg
Part VIIII : A Black and White Crimbo
Part X : One More Indecent Accident
Part XI : Of CRIMBCO and Hobos
Part XII : I Want Candy
Part XIII : Dreaming of a KAWAIIII Crimbo
Part XIV : Cyborg Bears? Sure Why Not
Part XV : Factory Complexities
Part XVI : A Tale of Two Things That Happened

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