1. “I can’t get the offer system to work/this is item is so rare it can't be traded through the offer system.” Everyone can get the offer system to work. All items that can be traded between players can be traded with the offer system. Never, ever trade with anyone who tells you they can’t use the secure offer system. They will steal your stuff.

Note: look at trade offers carefully! Some players will send, say, 1 meat in a trade and then put "meat: 1,000,000" in the notes for the trade, making a casual observer think they've included more meat in the trade than they have. We will punish people who run this scam, but we will not recover your items for you.

2. “If you type your password in the chat, the chat program won't display it, or will display a series of stars." Nope, it doesn’t. If you type your password in chat, it will be displayed, and someone will steal it.

3. “I am a member of the Kingdom of Loathing Staff and I need your account information/items/meat/Mr. Accessories…” The only accounts you will ever get official messages from are Jick (#1), the Multi Czar (#6), Customer Service (#9), HotStuff (#59035), or CDMoyer (#599619). Furthermore, we will never request your account information because we already have it. We will never request items or meat, either. We make our own.

4. “Selling this account for 1,000,000 meat! All tattoos, full crimbo gear…” There is no secure way to trade accounts in-game. If you pay someone meat (or worse, money) for the password to their account, there's no guarantee against the password being an incorrect one, or that some other shady maneuver will take place to snatch the account back for the seller. Only buy accounts if you like spending meat on nothing.

5. Never enter your username and password into anything but the login page. In the past, scammers have used links to sites that claim to be Kingdom of Loathing proxies but are just password harvesters.